CUSTOMIZED MESSAGES & FORTUNE COOKIE SAYINGS MAKE GREAT FORTUNE COOKIES EVEN MORE AMAZING
• Every order for personalized fortune cookies comes with up to 5 free different messages. Messages are mixed randomly unless you request to have them separated for an additional $35.00.
• If you order more than one color or flavor, you may divide your 5 fortunes among the different cookies however you like. As you add each flavor to your cart, simply type which message(s) you want to be inside that flavor. Please note, you must order at least 50 fortune cookies of each flavor in order to get custom messages.
• You get 5 free custom fortunes included in your entire order, NOT for each flavor. Each additional message is $5.00 extra.
• If you do add extra fortunes, simply type them on the order page of the flavor where they belong. For example, if you want 100 lemon cookies with 5 messages and 100 orange cookies with 5 different messages, type your fortunes on the corresponding pages. The first 5 are free, so your 5 additional fortunes would total an extra $25.
• Each fortune cookie saying can have up to 3 lines—30 characters per line, including spaces and punctuation.
• Add your company logo for only $40.00 extra. Color logo printing is also available.
•Please call 888-776-6611 and press 0 with questions or special requests.
ORDERING CUSTOM FORTUNES IS EASY! Once you decide which flavor(s) you want, simply scroll down that page until you see the OPTIONS BOX. After deciding about dipping and sprinkles (if desired) you’ll see the 5 spaces to enter your personalized fortunes:
Remember, to divide the fortunes among several flavors, as
you add each flavor to your cart, simply type which message(s) you want to be
inside that flavor. We’ll divide them up evenly unless you call us with special
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence. - Woody Allen
The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men. - Aristotle
The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much. Colin Chapman
The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do. HL Mencken
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late. Max Kaufman
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae West
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman.
Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds can get you shot.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. ~Author Unknown
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love. ~Woody Allen
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X
Sex relieves tension - love causes it. ~Woody Allen
I think I could fall madly in bed with you. ~Author Unknown
Sex is emotion in motion. ~Mae West
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. ~Woody Allen
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown
Anticipation makes the hard-on longer. ~Itsby Stevintary
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~Author Unknown
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
This is your last chance to have fun. Live it up!
Over The Hill Fortune Cookie Sayings
You look like a million bucks... all green and wrinkled.
Its all down hill from here.
Where did yesterday go?
Age is just a number.
The worst part of getting old is the smell.
Please chew thoroughly. This is not a pill.
You know you're old when your nose runs and your feet smell.
Old age is a story with a deep plot.
You know you're old when you use words like whippersnapper.
You know your old when you start every story with "when I was your age." The longer you live the more beautiful life becomes.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Old age isnít so bad.., when you consider the alternatives.
Remember, once you are over the bill you begin to pick up speed.
Old too soon. Smart too late.
Youíre not getting older.., you just collect wrinkles.
You might be old but youre not extinct!
You're not that old! Demand a recount!
So many candles... So little cake.
You may not he able to turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again!
You're not old. You're chronologically gifted.
I like my bifocals, my dentures fit me fine, my hearing aid is perfect, but Lord I miss my mind!
You might be getting old if getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
The secret to staying young is to find an age you really like and stick with it.
Damn, you got old fast!
Over the hill? I don't remember any hill! Wow! You could roast a turkey over those birthday candles!
Lying about age is easier when you sometimes forgot what it is
If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. About the time you learn to make the most of life, the most of it is gone!
You're never too old to become young.
Look forward to continued immaturity followed by death.
I call still cut the mustard. I just need help opening the jar.
Don't worry, senility is a good thing. You're always meeting new friends!
It's always better to wear out than to rust out.
More candles: Bigger wish!
Aged to Perfection!
Just when you finally got your head together your body starts falling apart.
By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence.
Inside every older person is a young person wondering what happened.
It is never too late to be who you might have been.
At my age, I've got an achy, breaky everything.
I've seen it all, I've heard it all, I've done it all, I just can't remember it all.
Classic, Genuine, Antique Person!
Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional!
You should be feeling great... Youíre still on the right side of the grass!
Fortune Cookie Messages for Dads
A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.
By the time a man realizes his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season.
Success Fortune Cookie Sayings
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure." -Mark Twain
"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made." -Jean Giraudoux
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." -Bill Cosby
"Why be a man when you can be a success?" -Bertolt Brecht
"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." -Richard Feynman
"Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success." -Christopher Lasch
"Nothing fails like success." -Gerald Nachman
"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?" -Jean Cocteau
"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world." -Lily Tomlin
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." -Rita Rudner
The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you." -Nancy Astor
"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." -Mark Twain
"Life is an unbroken succession of false situations." -Thornton Wilder
"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable." -Fran Lebowitz
"Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his." -Franklin P. Jones
"The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else." -John Blake
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." -Henry David Thoreau
"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?" -Kin Hubbard
"Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others." -Jules Renard
"All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else." -H. L. Mencken
"A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success." -Oscar Wilde
"You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play." -Warren Beatty
"A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen." -John le Carre
"Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule." -Stephen King
"Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings." -Arthur Rubinstein
"You always pass failure on the way to success." -Mickey Rooney
"A successful individual typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too much above his last achievement. In this way he steadily raises his level of aspiration." -Kurt Lewin
"To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success." -Anna Pavlova
Christmas & Winter Holiday Messages
Deck the halls with laughter and joy. Merry Everything!
May your holiday season be wrapped with cheer and filled with celebration for the coming year.
May the spirit of the holidays warm your heart and home with sweet new memories.
Wishing you a joyous holiday season and a New Year filled with peace and happiness.
During this gentle season, may you find time to enjoy life's simple blessings and some quiet moments.
‘Tis the season for good cheer and celebrating with friends. Best wishes for merry holidays.
Happy Chrismukkah: Eight days of presents, followed by one day of many presents.
A Festivus for the rest of us! Got your pole yet?
Another Festivus miracle!
New Years & Chinese New Years Fortunes
May peace, prosperity and happiness be yours throughout the holidays and the coming New Year.
All good things come to those who never give up!
Your life will overflow with abundant prosperity in 2013.
Celebrate the fresh slate and all that you will write upon it in the coming year.
Right now there is so much possibility in the air— breathe it in!
How will you make the world a better place in 2013?
Dream something BIG ] and dare something NEW in 2013.
The future looks brighter every day, so put on your sunglasses for 2013!
The spirit that inspires love and laughter will be with you everyday of the new year.
Corporate New Year Fortunes
Happy New Year from everyone at the [Acme Company]. Keep on making those great [widgets]!
We celebrate all our valued team members at the [Acme Company].
We at the [Acme Company] are here to continue our support of your business dreams.
The [Acme Company] appreciates your business— continued success in 2013.
We predict your business will grow and thrive in 2013.
Success is within your reach in 2013, so go for it!
We foresee many opportunities unfolding for you in 2013.
We predict great things for everyone in our company in 2013.
Silly / Funny Fortunes
A sunny smile beats botox any day!
Congratulations! You’ve won a free weasel.
Fortune cookie… as much fun as you can have with a 2” piece of paper.
A fortune cookie, some chocolate and some purple sprinkles walk into a bar…
What did the fortune cookie baker say to the bartender? Put it on my tab!
This is not the fortune you were looking for... but it’ll have to do.
What…you were expecting a cash prize? Would you settle for a winsome smile?
There can never be too much chocolate… not if we get a vote.
9 out of 10 people love chocolate. The tenth lies.
What’s the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.
Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be.
A little too much chocolate is just about right.
Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
Rx: Dip it in chocolate, and it’ll be fine.
If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant.