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April Fool's Day
COMING VERY SOON...a special April Fool's fortune cookie surprise. Really. No foolin'.
Halloween Fortune Cookie Sayings
  Want custom fortune cookies for Halloween favors but need help coming up with what to say? Look no further! We have lots of fortune cookie sayings for Halloween and any occasion....

Halloween Fortune Cookie Sayings:

Happy Halloween 2018
From the Addams Family!

Eat, drink and be scary.


When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween.

If human beings had genuine courage,
they'd wear their costumes every day of the year,
not just on Halloween.

A spooking we will go,
a spooking we will go.

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright of soft and golden hue
pierce through the future’s veil and show what fate now holds for you.

Trick or Treat, smell my feet... Give me something good to eat!

When witches go riding, and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers, ‘tis near Halloween.

On Halloween, witches come true;
Wild ghosts escape from dreams.
And monsters dance in the park....

Halloween Jokes & Fortune Cookie Sayings:

Blood donors needed. See the Count.

Halloween is a real treat.

Have a fang-tastic night!

Off we go a haunting…

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts…

How do witches keep their hair in place when flying?
They use ‘scare-spray’.

How do monsters tell their fortune?
They read the ‘horrorscopes’.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that ‘fangs’ around your neck.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No. They eat the fingers separately.

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I’ll have two beers and a mop.

What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let’s wrap this up!

Where does a witch park after flying?
In the broom closet.

Why can’t skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs.

How do you tell twin witches apart?
You can’t tell which witch is which…

Why is a haunted handkerchief so scary?
Because it has ‘boo-gers’…

What did the two vampires order at the bar?
Two bloods and a blood light.

What do you give a vampire with a bad cold?

Why isn’t Dracula invited to parties?
Because he’s a ‘pain in the neck’.

Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?
They couldn’t find their ‘bats’.

What do you have when zombies surround your house?

What is a skeleton stone age family?

What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?

What did the mother ghost say to her son?
Don’t spook unless you are spook-en to…

What do ghosts use to shampoo their hair?

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Why wasn’t the vampire working?
He was on a coffin break.

What do skeletons say before eating?

What does a child monster call his parents?
Mummy and Deady.

Where do ghosts shop for clothes?
At the Boo-tique.

What rides do ghosts like best at the amusement park?
The roller ghoster.

What fairy tale do ghosts like best?
Sleeping Boo-ty.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
Someone with very high blood pressure.

What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A Boo-ick.

What kind of streets to zombies like best?
Dead Ends.

What does daddy ghost say to his family in the car?
Fasten your sheet belts.

What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Ghost Toasties and evaporated milk.

What doesn’t a vampire order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

What is a baby ghost’s favorite game?

What is a monster psychiatrist called?

Classic Dark & Scary Halloween Quotes & Fortune Cookie Sayings:

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, "Tonight is Halloween!"

At first cock-crow the ghosts must go
back to their quiet graves below.
~Theodosia Garrison

'Tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn
and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world.
~William Shakespeare

From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties
and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!
~Scottish Proverb

“Monsters and ghosts are real.
They live inside us, and sometimes
they win.” ~Stephen King

Double, double toil and trouble;
fire burn and cauldron bubble.

The witches fly across the sky, The owls go:
"Who? Who? Who?" The black cats yowl
and green ghosts howl: "Scary Halloween to you!"

Pixie, kobold, elf and sprite, All are on
their rounds tonight; in the wan moon's silver ray,
thrives their helter-skelter play.

Halloween wraps fear in innocence,
as though it were a slightly sour sweet.
Let terror, then, be turned into a treat.

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing material place.
~Emily Dickinson

You wouldn't believe On All Hallows Eve
what lots of fun we can make, with apples to bob
and nuts on the hob and a ring-and-thimble cake.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~George Carlin

There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery. ~Joseph Conrad

'Tis the night of the grave's delight, and the warlocks
are at their play; Ye think that without
the wild winds shout, but no, it is they, it is they.

If a man harbors any sort of fear,
it makes him landlord to a ghost.
~Lloyd Douglas

Adult Themed Halloween Fortune Cookie Sayings:

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight
make me a child again just for tonight!

Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the spirits of things.

Just like a ghost, you've been a-haunting my dreams.
Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.

True love is like a ghost, which everyone talks about but few have seen.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.
~Richard Harris Barham

After eating chocolate you feel godlike,
as though you can conquer enemies,
lead armies, entice lovers.

Clothes make a statement.
Costumes tell a story.

There is nothing that gives
more assurance than a mask.

You know you've arrived
when people start dressing up
as you on Halloween.
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